Is your family history affecting what you eat?

Family stories, anecdotes, and traditions often play a significant role in shaping your beliefs, behaviours, and values. When it comes to food, the narratives surrounding meals within a family context can exert a profound influence on your relationship with food for the rest of your life.

Reflecting on your upbringing and the role food played in your family dynamics can be a powerful exercise in understanding your relationship with eating as an adult. Here are seven questions you can ask yourself to help establish if childhood patterns are still affecting you:

1. Did my parents use food to comfort me during times of sadness or stress?

Think back to moments when you felt upset or distressed as a child. Did your parents offer you food as a way to console you? Were treats or snacks used as a form of emotional support?

2. Were sweets or treats given to me as a reward for good behaviour or achievements?

Consider instances when you were praised or accomplished something significant. Did your parents celebrate these moments with special foods or treats? Did you associate certain foods with feelings of reward or accomplishment?

3. Were there rules or expectations about finishing everything on my plate?

Recall mealtimes in your household as a child. Were you encouraged or required to finish all the food on your plate, regardless of whether you were still hungry? Did your parents emphasise the importance of not wasting food? Were you told you couldn’t have something sweet until you’d finished everything on your plate?

4. How did my parents talk about food and body image?

Reflect on the conversations you had with your parents about food, nutrition, and body image. Did they use language that categorised foods as “good” or “bad”? Did they express concerns about your weight or appearance?

5. Did food play a central role in family gatherings or celebrations?

Think about holidays, birthdays, and other special occasions in your family. Did these events revolve around food? Was there an abundance of special dishes or treats during these gatherings that weren’t available at other times?

6. Did my parents use food as a form of control or punishment?

Consider instances where food was used as a tool to control your behaviour. Did your parents restrict certain foods as a punishment? Were meals withheld as a disciplinary measure?

7. How do I feel about food and eating now as an adult?

Take stock of your current attitudes and behaviours around food. Do you find yourself turning to food for emotional comfort? Do you struggle with guilt or shame around eating certain foods? Are there patterns of overeating or restrictive eating that you recognize in yourself?

As you reflect on these questions, remember that understanding the role food played in your upbringing is the first step towards developing a healthier relationship with eating as an adult. You may need to seek support from a therapist or counsellor if you find that these reflections bring up difficult emotions or challenges.